Hello, everyone! It’s Ron, and today I hope to bring a little clarity and perspective to a topic that’s become all too familiar to many of us: church hurt. This past week was a whirlwind with the presidential elections, and it seems like there’s a mix of emotions everywhere—from joy to frustration. But through it all, one thing stands firm for me: Jesus is King, and ultimately, He holds the future in His hands.
As I reflect on this past week, I can’t help but think about how important it is to focus on my heart, my attitude, and how I respond to others. We’re in a unique position as leaders and influencers within the church, and the truth is that our congregations are representative of various cultures and backgrounds. Each one of us brings our own experiences, ideologies, and—yes—potentially painful histories with us. It’s a tapestry of humanity, and with that comes the inevitable risk of hurt.
I often long for a church that mirrors the diversity of God’s creation, yet it can be challenging. When we invite all nations and backgrounds into our services, we need to be prepared to help carry one another on a biblical journey toward healing and growth.
Now, let’s get real for a moment. Church hurt isn’t just a buzzword; it’s a genuine experience that leaves many feeling disillusioned. I know firsthand about the pain of being hurt by others, even those who’ve been close to us. I’ve seen and felt it deeply. Our imperfections can sometimes shine brighter than our intentions, and it’s hard when our expectations of church community clash with reality.
Like many leaders in the church, I’ve had my share of painful moments—it’s almost a prerequisite for leadership! But despite the heartache, I’ve learned a few crucial lessons. First, it’s vital to maintain a personal relationship with God, unaffected by the actions of others. I know it can be tempting to turn away from Him when people disappoint us, but that’s where the enemy wants us—feeling isolated and sidelined.
And then there’s the matter of expectations. As my friend Miles Monroe wisely pointed out, “False disappointment is the child of false expectations.” If we expect flawless behavior from flawed humans (ourselves included), we’re setting ourselves up for inevitable disappointment.
I often find myself reflecting on how hurt can stem from incongruence between who people expect us to be and who we actually are. After all, the church is not a perfect place; it’s a collection of imperfect people striving for grace and growth. When that realization sinks in, it becomes easier to navigate the complexities of relationships within the church.
I also want to tackle the hard truth that not every hurt needs to be shared publicly. Sometimes, we need to handle our grievances with maturity—whether through prayer or private conversations. If you leave a situation hurt and disappointed, did you give those responsible a chance to mend the situation? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen relationships repaired simply because two people were willing to sit down and talk.
So, if you’re someone reflecting on past experiences that have kept you from the church or feeling isolated from the community, I encourage you to take a moment to breathe. Understand that while people will inevitably hurt you, your relationship with God can and should remain firm. It’s an act of maturity to see through the messy humanity of others and focus on the greater purpose of the church itself.
In the end, healing starts when we cultivate compassion—both for ourselves and for others. Let your hurts drive you closer to God, not further away. Together, let’s work toward creating a culture of honor and respect that uplifts every person within the church community.
Blessings to you all until next time. Remember, we’re all in this together.